Daycare Biting: Why It Happens and How to Handle It 2026

Few things upset parents more than learning their child was bitten at daycare—or that their child bit someone else. Biting is one of the most challenging behaviors in early childhood settings, causing pain, anxiety, and sometimes conflict between families and providers.

But here's the reality: biting is extremely common in toddlers. It's developmentally normal (though never acceptable), and with proper handling, it typically passes. This guide helps both sides of the situation—parents of biters and parents of bitten children—understand what's happening and how to respond.

Why Toddlers Bite

It's Developmentally Normal

Biting peaks between 13-24 months because toddlers:

• Have limited verbal skills
• Experience big emotions they can't express
• Are learning about cause and effect
• Are exploring their environment orally
• Have developing impulse control
• Are in the "sensory-motor" stage of development

This doesn't make biting acceptable but it helps explain why it happens—and why punishment alone doesn't work.

Common Triggers

Frustration and communication:

• Can't express what they want
• Don't have words for their feelings
• Want something another child has
• Feel misunderstood

Overwhelming emotions:

• Excitement that becomes too much
• Anger they can't regulate
• Fear or anxiety
• Overstimulation

Sensory needs:

• Oral exploration (mouthing everything)
• Teething pain and pressure
• Seeking sensory input
• Self-soothing through mouth

Social challenges:

• Defending space or toys
• Imitating what they've seen
• Seeking attention (even negative)
• Testing boundaries

Physical states:

• Tired
• Hungry
• Sick or in pain
• Overstimulated
• Understimulated (bored)

When Biting Is More Concerning

Normal biting typically:

• Happens occasionally (not daily)
• Has identifiable triggers
• Responds to intervention over time
• Occurs in specific contexts
• Decreases with age and language development

Seek additional support if:

• Biting is frequent (multiple times per day)
• No clear triggers can be identified
• Interventions aren't working
• Child is over 3 and still biting regularly
• Biting seems planned rather than impulsive
• Other concerning behaviors are present

What Daycares Should Do

Immediate Response

When a bite occurs:

1. Separate children immediately (calmly, without drama)
2. Attend to the bitten child first (comfort and first aid)
3. Respond to biter briefly and firmly ("Biting hurts. I won't let you bite.")
4. Clean and treat the wound (soap, water, cold compress)
5. Document the incident
6. Notify both sets of parents

What NOT to do:

• Bite the child back (harmful and ineffective)
• Shame or humiliate the biter
• Make the biter apologize (meaningless at this age)
• Give excessive attention to the biting behavior
• Punish harshly (doesn't address root cause)

Documentation

Incident reports should include:

• Date, time, location
• What happened before the bite
• Who was involved (confidentially)
• Where on the body the bite occurred
• How wound was treated
• Staff response
• Parent notification time

Tracking patterns:

• When does biting occur? (time of day, activity)
• Who is involved? (same children repeatedly?)
• What are the circumstances? (crowded areas, transitions?)
• Are there identifiable triggers?

Prevention Strategies

Environmental modifications:

• More duplicates of popular toys
• Less crowded play areas
• Clear sight lines for supervision
• Cozy corners for overwhelmed children
• Teething toys readily available

Scheduling adjustments:

• Shorter transitions
• More outdoor time
• Snacks before hunger sets in
• Quiet time before fatigue
• Smaller group activities

Staff practices:

• Shadow children who bite frequently
• Stay close during high-risk times (transitions, crowded areas)
• Intervene before bites happen
• Teach alternative behaviors
• Model and reinforce language

Communication with Parents

What daycare should share:

• That an incident occurred
• Basic details (when, where on body)
• How it was handled
• What they're doing to prevent future incidents
• Openness to working together

What they typically can't share:

• Name of the other child (confidentiality)
• Details about the other family
• Information beyond what's relevant to your child

Red flags in daycare response:

• Minimizing or dismissing incidents
• Not documenting bites
• Not notifying parents
• Blaming children or families
• No prevention strategies in place
• Refusing to communicate

If Your Child Was Bitten

In the Moment

At pickup:

• Stay calm (children pick up on parent anxiety)
• Ask what happened and how it was handled
• Review any injury
• Get a copy of the incident report

With your child:

• Comfort them
• Acknowledge their feelings ("That must have hurt")
• Don't ask leading questions or dramatize
• Reassure them they're safe

Wound Care

For minor bites (most common):

• Wash with soap and water
• Apply cold compress for swelling
• Watch for signs of infection (increasing redness, warmth, swelling)

Seek medical attention if:

• Skin is broken and bleeding
• Bite is deep
• Signs of infection develop
• Bite is near eyes or on face
• Your child isn't up to date on vaccinations

Working with Daycare

Productive approach:

• Ask what happened and why
• Ask what they're doing to prevent recurrence
• Share any concerns calmly
• Request increased supervision if pattern develops

Avoid:

• Demanding to know who bit your child (they can't tell you)
• Demanding the other child be expelled (rarely appropriate)
• Threatening to sue (escalates rather than resolves)
• Confronting the other family (you don't know the full situation)

If Biting Continues

If your child is repeatedly bitten:

• Document each incident
• Request a meeting to discuss pattern
• Ask about specific prevention strategies
• Consider whether supervision is adequate
• Evaluate if this is the right environment

When to consider changing care:

• Pattern continues despite intervention
• Daycare seems unable or unwilling to address it
• Your child is distressed or afraid
• You've lost confidence in the program
• Your child's safety isn't being prioritized

If Your Child Is the Biter

Receiving the News

How to respond:

• Don't panic (this is common and typically temporary)
• Listen to what happened
• Ask about triggers and circumstances
• Express concern for the other child
• Discuss next steps with daycare

What NOT to do:

• Punish at home hours later (child won't connect it)
• Shame your child extensively
• Bite your child back (harmful and ineffective)
• Dismiss it ("kids will be kids")
• Blame the daycare entirely

Working with Daycare

Partner effectively:

• Share what works at home
• Discuss triggers you've noticed
• Ask about patterns they're seeing
• Implement consistent approaches
• Communicate regularly
• Be open to suggestions

Questions to ask:

• When is this happening?
• What's going on right before?
• Who is most often involved?
• What strategies are you using?
• What can I do at home?

Strategies at Home

Build language:

• Teach feeling words
• Practice phrases like "I want that" or "Stop"
• Read books about feelings
• Narrate emotions throughout the day
• Celebrate when they use words instead of actions

Address potential causes:

• Ensure adequate sleep
• Regular mealtimes
• Reduce overstimulation
• Provide sensory input (chewy toys, textured foods)
• Manage transitions

Role play:

• Practice scenarios with stuffed animals
• "What could teddy do instead of biting?"
• Act out using words
• Praise practicing new skills

When biting happens at home:

• Respond calmly but firmly
• Remove attention briefly
• Comfort the other child first
• Help them make amends (get ice, give hug)
• Review what they could do instead

If Biting Continues

Escalating interventions:

1. Increase shadowing at daycare
2. Consult with pediatrician
3. Consider developmental evaluation
4. Seek guidance from early intervention
5. Work with child development specialist

When professional help is needed:

• Biting is frequent and persistent
• Child is over 3 and still biting regularly
• No improvement with intervention
• Other concerning behaviors
• You're out of ideas

Daycare Biting Policies

What to Expect

Good policies include:

• Clear definition of how biting is handled
• Immediate care for both children
• Documentation of all incidents
• Notification of parents
• Prevention strategies
• Escalation procedures

Common policy elements:

• First bite: Incident report, communication
• Repeated biting: Meeting with family, increased shadowing
• Persistent biting: Behavior plan development
• Continued issues: Possible suspension or transition

Questions About Policy

Ask your daycare:

• What is your biting policy?
• How do you respond when biting occurs?
• What prevention strategies do you use?
• At what point do you involve parents?
• What happens if biting continues?
• Has a child ever had to leave due to biting?

Controversial Policies

"Three bites and you're out":

• Pros: Protects other children, clear boundary
• Cons: Doesn't address root cause, may be unfair to child with underlying issues
• Consider: Is there flexibility for individual circumstances?

Confidentiality:

• Standard practice: Don't reveal biter's identity
• Parent concern: Want to know who's hurting their child
• Balance: Confidentiality protects all children; focus on prevention

Separating children:

• Sometimes necessary for safety
• Should be part of broader plan, not only strategy
• Goal is teaching new behaviors, not permanent isolation

Supporting All Children Involved

The Bitten Child

What they need:

• Physical comfort and first aid
• Emotional reassurance
• To know adults will keep them safe
• Not to be frightened by parent response
• Normal routine to continue

What they don't need:

• Adults making a huge drama
• Repeated questioning about the incident
• Fear of returning to daycare
• Thinking they did something wrong
• Parents' anxiety transferred to them

The Biting Child

What they need:

• Clear, consistent response
• Help learning alternatives
• Adults who understand it's developmental
• Language development support
• No shaming or punishment that doesn't teach

What they don't need:

• Being labeled a "bad kid"
• Harsh punishment
• Excessive attention to biting
• Adults who are afraid of them
• Isolation without teaching

Other Children in the Room

What they need:

• To see adults handle it calmly
• Reassurance that adults keep everyone safe
• Not to be frightened by the incident
• Normal routine continuing

When Biting Leads to Bigger Issues

Conflict Between Families

If you're upset:

• Remember the other family is probably struggling
• Don't confront them directly
• Work through the daycare
• Focus on solutions, not blame

If you're approached:

• Stay calm
• Express understanding for their concern
• Don't be defensive
• Let daycare mediate

Legal Concerns

When biting becomes a legal issue:

• Very rare, but can happen with severe injuries
• Document all incidents
• Keep all incident reports
• Consult an attorney if concerned
• Focus on prevention and resolution

Dismissal from Daycare

If your child is asked to leave:

• Understand the daycare's perspective
• Ask for a transition period if possible
• Request documentation to share with next provider
• Seek evaluation if underlying issues suspected
• Find a new setting that may be better equipped

Prevention Is Key

For Daycares

Best practices:

• Low ratios allow close supervision
• Training on child development and biting
• Understanding that biting is normal, not bad
• Environmental design that reduces conflict
• Proactive intervention when frustration builds
• Teaching emotional regulation skills

For Parents

Support your child by:

• Ensuring adequate rest
• Teaching language aggressively
• Building emotional vocabulary
• Providing sensory input at home
• Reducing stress where possible
• Partnering effectively with daycare

Key Takeaways

Biting is normal:

• Extremely common in toddlers
• Peaks 13-24 months
• Related to development, not character
• Typically temporary with good intervention

Response matters:

• Stay calm (parents and providers)
• Brief, firm response to biter
• Comfort to bitten child
• Prevention is primary focus
• Partnership between home and daycare

When it's your child:

• Bitten: Comfort, watch wound, work with daycare on prevention
• Biting: Partner with daycare, teach alternatives, don't punish harshly

Good daycares:

• Have clear policies
• Document and communicate
• Focus on prevention
• Support both families
• Know when to seek help

When to worry:

• Biting is frequent and persistent
• No improvement with intervention
• Child is over 3 and still biting regularly
• Other concerning behaviors present

Biting is stressful for everyone involved—the bitten child, the biting child, both families, and the daycare staff. But with developmental understanding, consistent intervention, and partnership between home and school, it almost always improves. Stay calm, stay consistent, and remember: this too shall pass.

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