Nanny Calling Out Sick Too Often? How to Handle It

Your nanny calls out sick—again. You scramble to find backup care, miss work, or cancel meetings. It's happening more than you expected, and you're starting to wonder: Is this normal? Am I being unreasonable? How do I fix this?

Here's how to handle nanny attendance issues without damaging the relationship or your sanity.

How Much Sick Time Is Normal?

Industry Benchmarks

| Timeframe | Reasonable Amount | |-----------|------------------| | Per year | 5-10 sick days | | Per month | 0-1 days | | Pattern | Random, not predictable |

What's concerning:

More than 1-2 days per month regularly
Consistent pattern (always Mondays, always after holidays)
Little or no notice given
Vague explanations that don't add up

Common Reasons Nannies Call Out

Legitimate Reasons

| Reason | What to Expect | |--------|---------------| | Actual illness | Occasional, with advance notice when possible | | Their child's illness | More common for nannies with kids | | Doctor appointments | Should be scheduled in advance | | Family emergency | Rare, but happens | | Mental health day | Occasionally needed in demanding job |

Concerning Patterns

| Pattern | What It May Indicate | |---------|---------------------| | Every Monday | Weekend activities, second job | | Around holidays | Extending time off | | After conflicts | Avoidance behavior | | On nice weather days | Prioritizing personal plans | | Increasing frequency | Burnout, job searching, declining commitment |

Step 1: Track the Pattern

Keep a Simple Log

| Date | Notice Given | Reason | Pattern? | |------|-------------|--------|----------| | Jan 15 | 30 min before | Sick | — | | Jan 28 | Night before | Car trouble | — | | Feb 10 | Morning of | Child sick | Monday | | Feb 24 | Morning of | Not feeling well | Monday | | Mar 3 | 1 hour before | Migraine | Monday |

Look for:

Total frequency
Day-of-week patterns
Amount of notice
Types of reasons

Step 2: Review Your Agreement

Check Your Contract For:

Paid sick days:

How many do you provide?
Are they using more than allotted?

Notice requirements:

What's the required notice?
Are they meeting it?

Documentation:

Can you require a doctor's note?
After how many consecutive days?

Consequences:

Is there language about excessive absences?

Step 3: Have a Direct Conversation

Frame It Around Impact, Not Accusation

Not: "You're calling out too much."

Better: "I wanted to talk about something that's been challenging for our family. Over the past two months, there have been five days where I needed to find last-minute coverage. I understand illness happens, but this frequency is creating real difficulty for my work situation."

Ask Open-Ended Questions

"Is everything okay? You've been out more than usual lately."
"Is there something about the schedule or workload that's making this hard?"
"Is there anything we could adjust to help with reliability?"

Listen for Context

They may share:

Health issues (chronic condition, pregnancy)
Personal problems (childcare for their own kids, transportation)
Burnout (too many hours, difficult aspects of job)
Red flags (second job, job searching)

Step 4: Set Clear Expectations

Be Specific About What You Need

"Going forward, I need at least 12 hours notice except for true emergencies. And I need absences to be occasional—once a month or less under normal circumstances. Can you commit to that?"

Document the Conversation

Send a follow-up email summarizing:

What was discussed
What you both agreed to
What happens if issues continue

Step 5: Create a Backup Care Plan

You Need Options Beyond Your Nanny

Backup options: | Option | Pros | Cons | |--------|------|------| | Backup nanny/babysitter | Same in-home care | Must find and vet | | Drop-in daycare | Professional, reliable | May have availability limits | | Family member | Usually free, trusted | May not always be available | | Work from home | Maintains your schedule | Not always possible, less productive | | Neighbor/friend | Quick access | May not be available |

How to build your network:

Ask your nanny for referrals
Join local parent groups
Research drop-in daycares
Build relationships with trusted sitters

Step 6: Improve Notice Requirements

Make Expectations Crystal Clear

Minimum notice by situation: | Situation | Expected Notice | |-----------|----------------| | Planned time off | 2+ weeks | | Doctor appointment | 1 week | | Feeling unwell night before | Evening/night before | | Woke up sick | As early as possible, minimum 2 hours | | True emergency | ASAP |

Put It in Writing

"If you need to call out, please contact me by text or phone by 6 AM so I have maximum time to arrange coverage. For non-emergencies, please give at least 12 hours notice when possible."

Step 7: Consider Structural Changes

If the Problem Continues, Evaluate:

Are you providing enough sick days?

Industry standard: 5-10 paid sick days per year
Fewer may encourage working while sick or calling out without pay

Is burnout a factor?

Hours per week realistic?
Duties reasonable?
Enough breaks during the day?

Is pay competitive?

Underpaid nannies may not prioritize the job
They may be looking for other work

Is the schedule sustainable?

Very early starts are hard
Split shifts are exhausting
Weekend work limits personal life

When Call-Outs Become a Deal-Breaker

Signs It's Time for a Serious Conversation

More than 2 days per month consistently
No improvement after addressing it
Patterns that suggest dishonesty
Last-minute call-outs without true emergencies
Your work is seriously impacted

The "Final Warning" Conversation

"I value our working relationship, but the attendance issues have continued despite our conversations. At this point, I need to be direct: if this pattern continues, I'll need to consider whether this arrangement is working for our family. I want to give you the opportunity to turn this around."

When to Move On

They've had clear warnings
Pattern continues
They're defensive rather than accountable
You've lost trust
You're constantly stressed about coverage

Preventing Attendance Issues: Contract Essentials

What Your Nanny Agreement Should Include

Paid time off structure:

Number of sick days (typically 5-10/year)
Vacation days (typically 2 weeks/year, aligned with your family)
Whether unused days carry over or pay out

Call-out procedures:

Required notice timeline
How to communicate (text, call, app)
What information to provide

Doctor's note policy:

After 2-3 consecutive days, can require documentation
Be consistent in applying this

Consequences for excessive absences:

Warning structure
When termination may occur
How you'll document issues

FAQ

Q: Am I being unreasonable to expect reliable attendance?

A: No. Reliability is a fundamental job requirement. While occasional illness is expected and should be accommodated, frequent unplanned absences are a legitimate concern.

Q: Should I offer more sick days to reduce call-outs?

A: If you're offering less than 5 paid sick days per year, yes—this may help. But more than 10 paid days is generous, and excessive absences beyond that indicate a different problem.

Q: What if my nanny has a chronic health condition?

A: You need to balance compassion with your family's needs. Discuss what accommodations are possible, but also be honest about what you need from this position. There may be a mismatch.

Q: How do I handle call-outs for their child's illness?

A: If your nanny has children, this will happen. Consider: including "their child sick" in sick time, having backup care ready, and being realistic that this is part of employing a nanny with kids.

Q: Can I require a doctor's note?

A: Yes, especially for extended absences (2+ consecutive days). Be consistent and put the policy in writing.

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