Nanny Calling Out Sick Too Often? How to Handle It
Is your nanny frequently calling out sick? Learn how to address attendance issues professionally while maintaining a good working relationship.
Your nanny calls out sick—again. You scramble to find backup care, miss work, or cancel meetings. It's happening more than you expected, and you're starting to wonder: Is this normal? Am I being unreasonable? How do I fix this?
Here's how to handle nanny attendance issues without damaging the relationship or your sanity.
How Much Sick Time Is Normal?
Industry Benchmarks
| Timeframe | Reasonable Amount |
|---|---|
| Per year | 5-10 sick days |
| Per month | 0-1 days |
| Pattern | Random, not predictable |
What's concerning:
- More than 1-2 days per month regularly
- Consistent pattern (always Mondays, always after holidays)
- Little or no notice given
- Vague explanations that don't add up
Common Reasons Nannies Call Out
Legitimate Reasons
| Reason | What to Expect |
|---|---|
| Actual illness | Occasional, with advance notice when possible |
| Their child's illness | More common for nannies with kids |
| Doctor appointments | Should be scheduled in advance |
| Family emergency | Rare, but happens |
| Mental health day | Occasionally needed in demanding job |
Concerning Patterns
| Pattern | What It May Indicate |
|---|---|
| Every Monday | Weekend activities, second job |
| Around holidays | Extending time off |
| After conflicts | Avoidance behavior |
| On nice weather days | Prioritizing personal plans |
| Increasing frequency | Burnout, job searching, declining commitment |
Step 1: Track the Pattern
Keep a Simple Log
| Date | Notice Given | Reason | Pattern? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Jan 15 | 30 min before | Sick | — |
| Jan 28 | Night before | Car trouble | — |
| Feb 10 | Morning of | Child sick | Monday |
| Feb 24 | Morning of | Not feeling well | Monday |
| Mar 3 | 1 hour before | Migraine | Monday |
Look for:
- Total frequency
- Day-of-week patterns
- Amount of notice
- Types of reasons
Step 2: Review Your Agreement
Check Your Contract For:
Paid sick days:
- How many do you provide?
- Are they using more than allotted?
Notice requirements:
- What's the required notice?
- Are they meeting it?
Documentation:
- Can you require a doctor's note?
- After how many consecutive days?
Consequences:
- Is there language about excessive absences?
Step 3: Have a Direct Conversation
Frame It Around Impact, Not Accusation
Not: "You're calling out too much."
Better: "I wanted to talk about something that's been challenging for our family. Over the past two months, there have been five days where I needed to find last-minute coverage. I understand illness happens, but this frequency is creating real difficulty for my work situation."
Ask Open-Ended Questions
- "Is everything okay? You've been out more than usual lately."
- "Is there something about the schedule or workload that's making this hard?"
- "Is there anything we could adjust to help with reliability?"
Listen for Context
They may share:
- Health issues (chronic condition, pregnancy)
- Personal problems (childcare for their own kids, transportation)
- Burnout (too many hours, difficult aspects of job)
- Red flags (second job, job searching)
Step 4: Set Clear Expectations
Be Specific About What You Need
"Going forward, I need at least 12 hours notice except for true emergencies. And I need absences to be occasional—once a month or less under normal circumstances. Can you commit to that?"
Document the Conversation
Send a follow-up email summarizing:
- What was discussed
- What you both agreed to
- What happens if issues continue
Step 5: Create a Backup Care Plan
You Need Options Beyond Your Nanny
Backup options:
| Option | Pros | Cons |
|---|---|---|
| Backup nanny/babysitter | Same in-home care | Must find and vet |
| Drop-in daycare | Professional, reliable | May have availability limits |
| Family member | Usually free, trusted | May not always be available |
| Work from home | Maintains your schedule | Not always possible, less productive |
| Neighbor/friend | Quick access | May not be available |
How to build your network:
- Ask your nanny for referrals
- Join local parent groups
- Research drop-in daycares
- Build relationships with trusted sitters
Step 6: Improve Notice Requirements
Make Expectations Crystal Clear
Minimum notice by situation:
| Situation | Expected Notice |
|---|---|
| Planned time off | 2+ weeks |
| Doctor appointment | 1 week |
| Feeling unwell night before | Evening/night before |
| Woke up sick | As early as possible, minimum 2 hours |
| True emergency | ASAP |
Put It in Writing
"If you need to call out, please contact me by text or phone by 6 AM so I have maximum time to arrange coverage. For non-emergencies, please give at least 12 hours notice when possible."
Step 7: Consider Structural Changes
If the Problem Continues, Evaluate:
Are you providing enough sick days?
- Industry standard: 5-10 paid sick days per year
- Fewer may encourage working while sick or calling out without pay
Is burnout a factor?
- Hours per week realistic?
- Duties reasonable?
- Enough breaks during the day?
Is pay competitive?
- Underpaid nannies may not prioritize the job
- They may be looking for other work
Is the schedule sustainable?
- Very early starts are hard
- Split shifts are exhausting
- Weekend work limits personal life
When Call-Outs Become a Deal-Breaker
Signs It's Time for a Serious Conversation
- More than 2 days per month consistently
- No improvement after addressing it
- Patterns that suggest dishonesty
- Last-minute call-outs without true emergencies
- Your work is seriously impacted
The "Final Warning" Conversation
"I value our working relationship, but the attendance issues have continued despite our conversations. At this point, I need to be direct: if this pattern continues, I'll need to consider whether this arrangement is working for our family. I want to give you the opportunity to turn this around."
When to Move On
- They've had clear warnings
- Pattern continues
- They're defensive rather than accountable
- You've lost trust
- You're constantly stressed about coverage
Preventing Attendance Issues: Contract Essentials
What Your Nanny Agreement Should Include
Paid time off structure:
- Number of sick days (typically 5-10/year)
- Vacation days (typically 2 weeks/year, aligned with your family)
- Whether unused days carry over or pay out
Call-out procedures:
- Required notice timeline
- How to communicate (text, call, app)
- What information to provide
Doctor's note policy:
- After 2-3 consecutive days, can require documentation
- Be consistent in applying this
Consequences for excessive absences:
- Warning structure
- When termination may occur
- How you'll document issues
FAQ
Q: Am I being unreasonable to expect reliable attendance?
A: No. Reliability is a fundamental job requirement. While occasional illness is expected and should be accommodated, frequent unplanned absences are a legitimate concern.
Q: Should I offer more sick days to reduce call-outs?
A: If you're offering less than 5 paid sick days per year, yes—this may help. But more than 10 paid days is generous, and excessive absences beyond that indicate a different problem.
Q: What if my nanny has a chronic health condition?
A: You need to balance compassion with your family's needs. Discuss what accommodations are possible, but also be honest about what you need from this position. There may be a mismatch.
Q: How do I handle call-outs for their child's illness?
A: If your nanny has children, this will happen. Consider: including "their child sick" in sick time, having backup care ready, and being realistic that this is part of employing a nanny with kids.
Q: Can I require a doctor's note?
A: Yes, especially for extended absences (2+ consecutive days). Be consistent and put the policy in writing.
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