What questions should I ask a childcare reference?

Start with the relationship (how long, what ages, what duties), then ask for specific examples: an emergency, a sick day, a discipline moment. Ask why the job ended and close with "Would you hire them again?" Hesitation on that last question tells you more than any other answer.

How many references should a nanny or babysitter have?

Ask for 2 to 3 childcare references from the last 3 years, ideally including one long-term family. Personal references are secondary and do not replace people who have watched the caregiver work with children.

What if a reference only confirms dates of employment?

Some families and employers only confirm dates. Treat that as neutral, not negative, and lean on the other references plus a background check. If every reference gives only dates, ask the candidate for someone who can speak to their care directly.

How do I check a daycare's references?

Ask the director for 2 to 3 current families with children your child's age and one family that left recently. Then look up the center's license and inspection history through your state licensing agency, which you can find through childcare.gov.

Childcare Reference Check Questions (2026 List)

Checking references is one of the most important steps in choosing childcare. Whether evaluating a nanny candidate or a daycare center, references provide insights you can't get from interviews alone. Knowing what to ask, and what to listen for, helps you make informed decisions.

Checking references

The Key Reference Questions at a Glance

Question	Why ask it	Good sign	Red flag
How long did they care for your children, and at what ages?	Confirms the job matches what you were told	Dates and ages match the resume	Details that conflict with the interview
What were their main responsibilities?	Shows real experience with your child's age	Specific duties (meals, naps, school runs)	Vague or much smaller role
Can you give an example of a hard moment they handled?	Tests judgment under pressure	A specific story told without prompting	No example or a long pause
How did they handle discipline and big feelings?	Checks fit with your approach	Calm, consistent, age-appropriate	Yelling, shaming or "they were strict" said with unease
Were they reliable about time and sick days?	Reliability is the most common problem	Rarely late, gave notice	Frequent no-shows or last-minute cancellations
Why did the job end?	Separates normal endings from problems	Kids aged out, family moved	Evasive or inconsistent answer
Would you hire them again?	The single most telling question	An immediate, enthusiastic yes	Hesitation or a qualified yes

Why References Matter

What They Reveal

References tell you:

How they performed over time
Real experiences from others
Consistency with what they told you
Issues that may not appear in interviews
Long-term behavior patterns

Limitations

Know that:

References are chosen by candidate/center
May be biased positive
Still valuable despite limits
One piece of information

For Nanny References

Who to Contact

Ask for:

2-3 previous employers
Recent references (last 3 years)
Long-term employer if possible
Personal references (secondary)

Questions to Ask

About the job:

How long did they work for you?
What ages were your children?
What were their responsibilities?
Was it full-time or part-time?

About performance:

What were their strengths?
Any areas of concern?
How did they handle emergencies?
Were they reliable?
How did they communicate?

About your child:

How did children respond to them?
What activities did they do together?
How did they handle discipline?
Did your children enjoy being with them?

The key question:

Would you hire them again?
Why did they leave?
Would you recommend them?

What to Listen For

Positive signs:

Enthusiastic responses
Specific positive examples
Children loved them
Would hire again
Unprompted praise

Concerning signs:

Hesitation
Vague answers
Qualified positives
Wouldn't hire again
Short tenure unexplained

Reference questions

For Daycare References

Who to Contact

Reach out to:

Current parents
Recently departed families
Long-term families
Parents of children your child's age

Questions to Ask

About experience:

How long has your child been there?
What age did they start?
What classroom are they in?

About quality:

What do you like best?
Any concerns?
How is communication?
How do teachers handle problems?
Does your child enjoy it?

About specifics:

How are drop-offs and pickups?
What's the daily routine like?
How do they handle illness?
What about staff turnover?

The key question:

Would you choose this center again?
Would you recommend it?

What to Listen For

Positive signs:

Happy children mentioned
Good communication praised
Teachers appreciated
Long tenure
Would recommend

Concerning signs:

Hesitation to recommend
Many concerns mentioned
High turnover noted
Communication problems
Would choose differently

How to Conduct Reference Checks

Making Contact

Approach:

Phone is best (hear tone)
Email if phone unavailable
Introduce yourself and purpose
Respect their time
Be appreciative

During the Call

Best practices:

Have questions ready
Take notes
Listen for hesitation
Ask follow-up questions
Allow them to share

After the Call

Process:

Review notes
Compare to other references
Consider overall picture
Trust consistent patterns
Factor into decision

Red Flags

In Nanny References

Concerns:

Can't provide references
References don't answer
Short tenure not explained
Reliability issues mentioned
Wouldn't hire again
Hesitation or vague praise

In Daycare References

Concerns:

Parents unwilling to talk
High turnover mentioned
Safety concerns raised
Communication problems
Multiple families with same concern

Beyond References

Additional Verification

Also consider:

Background checks
Licensing and inspection records (daycare), through your state licensing agency or childcare.gov
Online reviews
Personal observation
Your gut feeling

Trusting Your Instincts

Remember:

References are one input
Your observation matters
Gut feelings are valid
Overall picture counts

Before you call, see our questions to ask a nanny in the interview itself and the childcare red flags worth walking away over.

Key Takeaways

Always check references:

Never skip this step
Call, don't just email
Ask specific questions
Listen carefully

For nannies:

Contact previous employers
Ask about specifics
Listen for hesitation
The "hire again" question matters

For daycares:

Talk to current parents
Ask about communication
Listen for patterns
Look for consistency

Red flags matter:

Trust concerning patterns
Short tenure unexplained
Hesitation to recommend
Consistent concerns across references

Part of bigger picture:

References plus observation
Background verification
Your judgment
Trust the process

Reference checks are essential due diligence. Taking the time to ask good questions and really listen to the answers helps protect your child and make confident decisions.

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